I met Joey in late 1995. We moved in together May 1996. Our son Matthew was born March 1997. Joey and I married 1998. We are ‘that old married couple’.
I love that man so much. He is my rock. When we met I already had a small child. (Rachel. Now 18) That did not scare him off like it did most young men. He has helped raise her and support her. Joey was there for me when Michael, my brother, was murdered. I was there for him when his Aunt Annalee passed. She raised him after his parents died. We have had many good times and we have had our share of bad times. We thought we had been through it all.
Until Aug 19, 2005. Our Mattman collapsed during practice on the football field. He passed away. He was only 8 years old. Joey, Rachel and I were heartbroken. We still are. We leaned on each other but we still had to learn how to deal with the loss in our own way. Matthew left a hole that will never be filled.
We heard many stories of how most couples divorce after a death of a child. We beat the odds and are still together. We both have our good days and we have our “Matthew days”. Joey is a good man, he loved me when I didn’t even love myself.
Joey likes the big chicks. Oh if you ask him he will deny it. But he does. So now I must share my biggest fear with you. I am terrified Joey will leave me if I lose a lot of weight. It is a fear that has held me back for many years. Joeys assures me he loves me no matter what I weigh. But I still have that fear. I always joke my first husband left me because I got fat and my second husband will leave me if I get skinny.
But I also feared if I didn’t lose the weight I would die young and leave him all alone. Then he would find some other chick to replace me. Which would piss me off; he is supposed to be miserable without me. If he found another I would have to haunt him the rest of his life. I don’t intend to be the Casper the friendly ghost type of ghost.
So now I am taking a gamble on this wonderful man still loving me after the weight loss. J
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