Facing the facts

The day I began to change my life I weighed 207 pounds. I have weighed more in the past but no matter the type of diet, or amount of exercise I was never able to drop below the 200 mark. I have always known, this weight amount was my barrier. My downfall. I would get close to it but never 'get there'. So i would give up and the weight gain would start up again. In my heart I have felt that once I drop below that 200 amount weightloss would be a breeze and I would be on my way to a better me.

I knew I was going to lose weight this time I just hadn't figured out how I was going to go about it. I was checking out diets and not finding anything that appealed to me. Than, (drum beat inserted here) my mom called. She was buying her a Weight Watchers start up kit and wanted to buy me one. I panicked in that moment...Weight Watchers was a group thing and I am not a group person. (there is a story about that which I will share at a later date). Plus to me Weight Watchers seemed a little to cult like and I do not want to be a cult follower. A cult leader maybe, but not a follower. Well my mom must have sensed my weariness she said, "Susan you don't have to join, just follow the program."

Against my better judgement I said, "Okay mom get me the kit." She told me i would have it in a week or so. So during that week of waiting I ate like there was not going to be a tomorrow. That week I was miserable (like every other week before) my sugar was out of control, my stomach hated me and showed me how it felt by torturing me, and even getting up to go to work was a huge task, i just had no energy.

So to recap...over 200 pounds, health on a major decline and the fear of an early death was an everyday thing to me.

Facing the facts:
207 pounds
sugar numbers never dropping below the 200 mark
waist, 50 inches.
2 x and 3x shirts
22 size pants (tight at that)
hip pain
breathlessness
depression
oh and lets not forget...I hated my self for being fat. I was a failure. To myself and others.